Validation

Sometimes it’s just nice to hear that someone thinks I look pretty.

I know when I look pretty and when I feel pretty.

It’s just nice to hear it from someone else… for someone else to make you feel beautiful.

One time my teacher from my program said she thought I looked beautiful on one particular day and that I was just absolutely beaming. And I just legit started crying because I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had said I was beautiful, and I just felt really touched.

It’s crazy that I’m so focused on my insecurities. But it’s really because when I hear the things that perpetuate those insecurities, rarely do I ever feel strong enough to combat them. Because those people shatter every last bit of confidence I have in myself… which I know is wrong. Because I can’t and shouldn’t put my self worth in others.

It’s just… I’ve heard so many times in my life the negatives about my body. It’s so backwards to me that I get uncomfortable when someone compliments me.

But it’s a good kind of uncomfortable…

I don’t know. I hate that I look for validation in others, but it’s just something I need… because sometimes when I’m feeling weak and vulnerable, believing and loving myself becomes a scary and difficult thing. I just need help getting back to where I can love myself more.